Self-esteem
Self-esteem is how we see ourselves; what we think of ourselves and how much we value ourselves. Our self-esteem is made up of thoughts and opinions, often formed in our early years, about who we are and what we're capable of.
These thoughts and opinions tend to be influenced by the experiences we've had and/or the people we're surrounded by. For example, someone with a particularly critical parent, or someone who has been bullied at school, may find themselves struggling with low self-esteem.
The beliefs we hold about ourselves can be ingrained and difficult to change. The good news is that they can be changed, it just takes work. There are many ways to help you improve your self-esteem, including personal development work (such as developing self-compassion and setting yourself small challenges) and hypnosis.
Hypnosis can be very effective in improving self-esteem because it works directly with the subconscious - where negative thoughts about ourselves live.
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The effects of low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem can have a huge impact on our happiness. It makes it difficult for us to recognize our strengths and assets, which can hold us back in our personal and professional lives. When we think we're not capable of doing much, we avoid trying new things and can find ourselves trapped in our comfort zone.
We may find it hard to be kind and take care of ourselves, which can lead to stress and burnout. Although low self-esteem is not a mental illness in itself, it does affect our mental health. In the long term, low self-esteem can lead to conditions such as depression and anxiety. You may also find that if you suffer from a mental health problem, it affects your self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can be caused by a number of reasons and will vary from person to person. Some people may find that their self-esteem has always been low, while others may experience a sudden change.
Factors that can lead to low self-esteem include :
being mistreated
be intimidated
difficulty finding a job
the loss of your job
discrimination
long-term stress
relationship difficulties
body image concerns
money and financial problems
physical or mental health conditions
growing up around overly critical authority figures
How hypnosis can improve self-esteem
The negative perceptions we have of ourselves are due to our subconscious trying to protect us. When we have a bad experience, for example if we fail a math test at school, our subconscious will recognize that this is something to be avoided. To protect ourselves, it will tell us that we're bad at maths and should avoid trying. This leads to stress and worry every time we take a math test, which affects our abilities (creating a self-fulfilling prophecy).
Over time, we learn that we are "bad" at maths and we automatically develop negative thoughts on the subject that follow us into adulthood. This can then affect our confidence and make us reluctant to try anything to do with numbers, including managing our finances.
Since these automatic thoughts come from our subconscious, it's difficult to change them by will alone. Our subconscious doesn't listen to reason and is... well, let's just say it's stuck in its own ways.
And that's why hypnosis can be such a powerful tool. The aim of hypnotherapy is to "talk" directly to your subconscious, changing negative thought patterns and encouraging more positive responses. So, rather than being a critical voice of fear, our subconscious can learn to encourage and support us.
When we're in a state of hypnosis (which is like deep relaxation or meditation), our subconscious is more open to suggestion. A hypnotherapist can then use suggestion techniques to help uncover negative thoughts and reframe them so that they are more positive.
Low self-esteem is actually a learned behavior; it's something we've picked up after years of repetitive thinking (in our previous example, "I'm bad with numbers"). Hypnosis is a way of unlearning these behaviors and creating new, more positive ones (like "I'm confident with numbers").
Your hypnotherapist can also teach you self-hypnosis, enabling you to reinforce the positive suggestions offered during the session. Self-hypnosis can then act as a stimulant, helping you to reaffirm your new way of thinking long after your sessions have ended.
Hypnosis can also be complemented by other self-help techniques. Below are some self-help tips you can try alongside hypnotherapy.
Tips for improving self-esteem
Set yourself small challenges
We gain confidence and self-assurance when we try new things and succeed. As scary as it may sound, setting yourself personal challenges is a great way to build self-esteem. Start with small challenges and build up to bigger ones. When you've had good experiences, write them down somewhere and remember them when you try something new in the future.
Over time, you'll end up with a bank of evidence, proving that you can do it (this helps to build self-esteem).Be more compassionate with yourself
When our self-esteem is low, it can be difficult to be kind to ourselves. Self-compassion is a practice, something that's repeated. Try to get into the habit of being kind, whether by taking care of yourself or investing in professional support.Focus on the positive
As our subconscious likes to protect us from perceived danger, it tends to remember negative experiences more than positive ones. This is known as negativity bias. To overcome this, it helps to make a real effort to notice when positive things happen. Write them down, take photos - anything that helps you remember when you achieve something (celebrate those victories!).Practicing gratitude
This negative bias can affect our mood, making us feel as if we have nothing to be grateful for. Making space to practice gratitude can help with this. Try using a journal and writing down one thing you're grateful for each day. Over time, your mind will get into the habit of recognizing what it has to be grateful for, and you'll help change your thinking to be more positive.Developing assertiveness
Low self-esteem can make us susceptible to pleasing people and saying yes when we really should be saying no. This is often because we think we don't have the "right" to say no. This is often because we feel we don't have the "right" to say no.
To develop self-esteem, it's essential to feel more comfortable with the word "no" and to set healthy limits. By doing so, we reinforce the message that we are worthy. Remember that our self-perception is often based on false beliefs formed in childhood. These beliefs can be learned, which means we can unlearn them. Our self-esteem is malleable and capable of change, as long as we have the right tools at our disposal.
